My New Goal In Life

Everybody has a calling in their life. George Washington was to lead a country to indepedence. Adolf Hitler was to find a Final Solution to the Jewish Question. While one may be more important than the other and personally I don't mind living under British rule... I have found my new goal in life...I want to be in an issue of Cosmo.

I think the whole reason of wanting to be in Cosmo is pretty self-explanatory, if you want to look at an example look at Scott Brown of Massachusetts. Twenty years ago he was in Cosmo, now he's the senator-elect for Massachusetts. So I figure with my good looks and appearing in Cosmo, in twenty years I could be president. And isn't that the whole point of the American Dream, doesn't every kid want to grow up to be president of the country, even the ones that were born in Kenya. Well, Cosmo is the fastest route to Washington, DC.

Even if I don't have a photoshoot with the magazine, I could still dispense my knowledge of what guys think about girls to the huddled masses. Sitting in economics class instead of understanding the concepts of supply and demand, I think about the equilibrium point of girls. I know I don't stand alone in this but for guys there is a equilibrium point of trying to find hot girls and slutty girls. So we make a compromise of hot for trashy to take home; I do this all the time.

Number of Girls I've Taken Home: 0

I think this example of the equilibrium point is what I'll use next week on the test.

So back to my original thought...I want to be in Cosmo. So with your help: write to Cosmo, call the office, or throw a Molotov cocktail throught someone's window. But get me into the magazine.