Thursday, December 3, 2009

Global Warming and Sausage Lady

First things first, barring failing out of Music Appreciation next semester, I will graduate in May. But more importantly I want to point out a fact of life. There are people who for better or worse change the world around you and effect who you are as a person. Parents, good and bad teachers in school, your best friends are all examples. However, two people from my time in college have changed my life.

The first one if RJ. The only way to describe him is a 4 year old trapped in a 24 year old body. He has never grown up. He will hold a special place in my heart for usually leading me down the wrong path and somehow he has the ability to never get into trouble but I will usually get into trouble. But here are a few examples to describe him:

  • In Missouri, as he is vomiting into a trash can in the hotel room, he tells Woody that he is going spoon feed s*** to Woody's kids.
  • Another time, we were standing in line at Wal-Mart, a kid comes up and asks if he plays basketball for Wesleyan. RJ, always the one to overreact, starts accusing the kid of being racist. I tell the kid to ask who is father is. In case you're wondering, his dad is Bimbo Coles.
  • Speaking of Bimbo Coles, a few weeks ago in Pittsburgh during a run with Rog and Gorbachev. Rog says that he going to sue Bimbo Coles for child support. RJ is a child.

But I think the greatest thing about RJ was how he used to make fun of me for not believing in global warming. Well I guess the joke is on him.

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The next person will also hold a special place in my memories from Buckhannon for mostly psychologically damaging me. SAUSAGE LADY. Last year, at least once a week, she would drive by in a truck and yell at us. The most usual taunt was "look at all that sausage" and "look at that sausage fest". But the joke is on her because she was taking up almost all of the cab in the truck she was driving. She was like bread that was baking and about to explode out of the breadmaker, that's the only way to describe it. Well yesterday, we saw her for the first time all school year, it was like witnessing Halley's Comet becuase we hadn't seen her in so long. But apparently she had more yeast in her that we thought because now she is so fat she has outgrown the truck and has moved up to an SUV.

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Just think about this: my mom one time called RJ a creeper.

Miles ran since last post: a little over 14

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