Work

If there is anything more annoying than Mischler, it is people saying the phrase "do work". I'm not sure where the phrase came from and frankly if I ever meet the person who came up that phrase, I'm going to punch them in the nuts. But my point is...I've had some interesting jobs in the past. Interning at the prosecuting attorney's office was cool, except for the constant fear I had of someone coming into the court and shooting everybody. This can be blamed on my parents letting me watch Harrison Ford movies as a kid. The next job as a lifeguard was fun as hell...except for the fear of actually having to save somebody. But until you have tried to surf down a waterslide on a mat, you haven't lived. Unfortunately, knowing CPR and how to backboard somebody out of the water could not prepare me for my next job. I work for UPS.

Every winter, UPS hires people to ride around with the drivers and deliver the goods while the driver sorts everything out. And with the pay being 10.50 an hour, it pays high for the little work that is actually required. In the four days, I have worked for UPS the following things have happened:

• I now know where every attractive secretary is in the Wharf District in Morgantown
• I have almost been in several fatal accidents involving a delivery truck and car, truck, and people
• Ran several stop signs
• Finally, some woman answered the door in her towel, now if only I was a delivering a pizza and things might have turned out differently...

However, nothing beats the thrill of riding down the interstate with the door open and nothing separting you from certain death except for a seatbelt. The noise in the cab is like riding in a cargo plane and the seat you are on literally looks like it came from an Air Force cargo plane. But for 10.50 an hour, it is worth the experience.

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Every time you look, Clint Eastwood is just putting out a movie that is racist. First Gran Torino and now Invictus.